When my husband and I were considering trying for a baby, those close to us warned, “Just you wait!”
It began with: “Just you wait until you give birth to a baby that screams constantly, just like you did.”
“Just you wait until you can’t even remember what functioning off a full night’s sleep feels like.”
“Just you wait until you realize that you two disagree on literally everything when it comes to parenting, and every little decision becomes a battle.”
“Just you wait until you realize how expensive all the baby stuff really is—say goodbye to your disposable income!”
“Just you wait until you don’t have the time to take a shower in peace, let alone spend time with your friends.”
“Just you wait until you see how resentful you can actually get.”
Candidly—it scared the shit out of me and confused me, all at the same time. How can so many people make the entirely rational decision to bring children into this world, yet complain as if it were something they were forced into, hands tied, against their will?
Then, when I was pregnant, acquaintances who had already walked the path of new parenthood told me, “Just you wait.”
Just you wait until labor splits your body in two and you spend the next six weeks in diapers.
Just you wait until you wake up every hour with the newborn—you think pregnancy sleep is bad? (yes, I pee every hour.)
Just you wait until your clean, aesthetic home is overtaken by bright, plastic baby toys. (no way, we’re only buying the wooden montessori stuff.)
Just you wait until you start with solids and have to end every single meal with a bath.
Then, I had my baby. As I held my newborn son, watching my friend’s toddlers circle us in a snotty, dirt-encrusted ring of chaos, they whispered fervently, “Just you wait."
Just you wait until he becomes mobile, and you’ll never be able to take your eyes off him again.
Just you wait until you’re done breastfeeding and your boobs deflate to sad, saggy little pancakes. (you mean I can’t keep these porn star boobs forever?!)
Just you wait until you have to go back to work, and feel like you have neither the time, nor the mental capacity to balance both.
Just you wait until he starts pushing the kitchen chairs into those beautiful cabinets of yours—probably not the best time to do a remodel, girlfriend!
Now that my son is approaching a year and a half, I tell everyone I know who is either pregnant or trying for a baby: “Just you wait.”
Just you wait until the nurses put your baby in your arms for the first time, and your heart now exists outside your body—and you realize you'd do absolutely anything to protect it.
Just you wait until you learn to love your new stretch marks and loose skin, solely for the daily reminder of what you brought into the world.
Just you wait until every day feels like it brings a new development, with each little skill proving more impressive than the last.
Just you wait until you can finally fit back into your favorite jeans—and see your toes once again.
Just you wait until your baby’s favorite thing in the universe becomes “DOGGY!” and you get to watch your first baby fall in love with your second.
Just you wait until your baby learns how to not only blow kisses, but to open their mouth wide and bang their head against yours repeatedly in a semi-painful gesture of adoration.
Just you wait until your baby starts sleeping through the night, and you finally feel like an entirely new person.
Just you wait until you realize that you really can do all the same things you did before having a baby, and it can be even more fun now.
Just you wait until you realize that traveling with a baby isn’t actually that scary, and how enthralling it feels to introduce your little best friend to all the places and things you love.
Just you wait until you realize you’ve found your purpose in motherhood, while still finding fulfillment in your career.
Just you wait until your child runs to you, arms open wide, eyes locked on you like you light up the moon.
I want to scream from the rooftops, to anyone who will listen: Just you wait for the relief you’ll feel, when it’s all said and done, knowing that you didn’t let them scare you—everyone who told you how difficult, or exhausting, or stressful that motherhood would be. Because while the people who warned me were right about some of the hard parts—they were also so, so wrong about the whole story.
So to everyone considering parenthood: yes, at times, it’s hard.
But also—just you wait for the rest of it.
Love this one! I forgot about that phase, but can almost feel it again. "Just you wait until your baby learns how to not only blow kisses, but to open their mouth wide and bang their head against yours repeatedly in a semi-painful gesture of adoration." Very eye opening. It isn't fair how parenthood is portrayed which is one of the reasons why I started to contribute here on Substack. To share the reality.
I know I think the thing I was most surprised about is how amazing having a kid is- yes it can be tough but the good outweighs the tough parts. I think the good should be emphasized more! There is nothing more amazing than a tiny kid waking up with a huge smile when you go to get them!